


The Demanding Circumstance Of Being Coffee With Cream

by SociophobicDave



Category: Homestuck
Genre: College, Human!Trolls, M/M, Multi, dean!Eridan, human!Equius, human!Eridan, human!Gamzee, human!Karkat, human!Nepeta, human!Sollux, human!Tavros, human!Terezi, human!Vriska, student!Dave, student!John, student!Tavros, tattoo artist!Equius, tattoo artist!Vriska
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-12-22
Updated: 2013-01-22
Packaged: 2017-10-27 18:29:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/298750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SociophobicDave/pseuds/SociophobicDave
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <b>Discontinued</b>
</p><p>"Wait a second...I know you," The employee says peering at you over the rim of his glasses. "Dave? Oh, gosh, Dave Strider?"</p><p>"...Egbert? John Egbert?"</p><p>"Yea. Man, it's been a while." John said nervously, scratching the back of his nappy hair.</p><p>"Yea, like what, three years now?"</p><p>"Almost four," He corrects.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Which Dave Decides To Give College A Fair Go

**Author's Note:**

> This has been discontinued due to the fact that I no longer have time to update it and I don't really read homestuck anymore. Sorry.

You are Dave Strider and hell only knows what a drag this really is. Bro always did want you to go and make something of yourself, so here you were, making something of yourself while trying to find a very elusive bookstore. How was this supposed to help you? Perhaps navigating a university was supposed to give you an incredible sense of direction. Who knew. All that was obvious was that this was so not cool and dammit, where the hell was that bookshop anyway?

You take another look at your crudely drawn map, which is really a piece of paper with lines that you assume is supposed to be walls and hallways...or maybe it's a parking lot? Somewhere in there, there's an arrow pointing you in the right direction, but after circling what seems to be the entire campus, you're pretty sure an arrow would do you no good at this point. This might be a good time to start asking for directions, but everyone here just seems to know their way around so well that you'll probably just look like an idiot if you ask. That is, if you don't already look like one now. Well, time to suck it up. You're tired of this stupid map and this stupid hallway.

You tap a small man sitting in a chair on the edge of the hallway on the shoulder and he spins around, literally, looking as if he was expecting someone different but found you instead. He smiles at you and you realize he's actually in a wheel chair.

"Uhh... hey there, what can I help you with?" He asks, looking up at you. Did you really look that lost? Obviously if this guy could tell.

"I'm just looking for the bookstore. The map I got is useless," You answer, trying not to feel like an idiot.

"If you got the map from the front office, then yea, it's probably...uhh...useless," He agrees, thinking. "Well, the bookstore is next to the library which isn't in this building. Uhh... I can take you there if you want. I was about to head over there myself."

"That'd be appreciated," You nod, letting him lead the way out of the side doors and down the service ramp. You decide to do the polite thing and use the ramp as well instead of the stairs. Just because you're cool doesn't mean manners don't apply.

"Anyway, I'm Tavros. Most people just call me Tav. And...you are?" He asks, probably trying to break the ice.

"Dave Strider," You introduce yourself, though you doubt in a school this big that you'll be seeing Tavros again.

"Dave Strider...I swear I've heard that name before..." Tavros comments, mostly to himself, but you still hear him.You didn't think you were very famous, but then again, Bro was well known for his work in the D.J.-ing arts. Tavros continues his pondering and you let him as you don't much feel like talking to people. You're still kind of pissed that this school is a labyrinth hellbent on making sure that you can find nothing.

A parking lot and a hallway later you find yourselves in front of the bookstore. You hold open the door for Tavros and he wheels himself in with a small 'thanks'.

"I'm going to go find the manager. If you have a list, the guy at the counter should be able to help you. If he hasn't fallen asleep yet. It's pretty slow today," Tavros advises. You give a curt nod as he rolls onward in a different direction.

You do as he says and go to the front counter, expecting to see a very, very bored employee but instead you find a mass of black hair on the counter. Actually, it was someone sleeping on the counter with his heads in his arms. You raise an eyebrow in surprise as you were sure that Tavros was just kidding when he said the guy would be sleeping, but apparently not as this guy was even snoring lightly.

"Hey. Get up."

Ineffective. What kind of a manager let the guy working the counter sleep, anyway? This university was getting more undesirable by the minute. You noticed a coffee cup next to a coffee cup full of pens and you grab one on a whim. You lean over the counter, using the blunt end of the pen to lightly poke the sleeping worker in the head. Repeatedly. You have to admit to yourself that the worker looked pretty comical as his head lulled back and forth, his shaggy hair draping itself differently. "Hey, man. Get up."

The employee groaned waving a hand in an attempt to thwart off his attacker. "Come on, Gam...Casey was up all night last night..." He groaned, his speech slurred with the help of exhaustion.

"Dude, up." Okay, not the nicest thing you've ever said to wake someone up, but it did the trick.

"Oh! S-sorry. How can I help you?" The shorter man stuttered, sitting up quickly and straightening his shirt and tousling his hair, though there was really no hope for it as it was probably unmanageable. This guy looked pretty nerdy to be working in a bookstore. It was so fitting, really, that you kind of felt sorry for this guy. He was shorter than you by quite a bit (but then again, you were pretty tall), he had something of an overbite but it was probably made better by the help of braces, and the most noticeable thing about him was his large square glasses that rested on the bridge of his nose in front of impossibly blue eyes.

"Yea, I've got a list here..." You start to fumble with a folded piece of paper before handing it him. "Listen, I've got to hurry, I'm supposed to be out of here already," You say. That's not exactly true, you just want to get the hell out of here as soon as you possibly can. You've wasted quite enough time.

"Sure thing. Not a problem." The nerd-thing behind the counter said, reading down your list of things you need. He seemed to come to the conclusion that he could indeed help you. "Yea, we actually have quite a few of these books left. Looks like we can get you settled today."

"Great," You give a small upturn of your right cheek in some sort of half-assed, Dave-Strider-famous smile.

"Wait a second...I know you," The employee says peering at you over the rim of his glasses. "Dave? Oh, gosh, Dave Strider?"

"...Egbert? John Egbert?"

"Yea. Man, it's been a while." John said nervously, scratching the back of his nappy hair.

"Yea, like what, three years now?"

"Almost four," He corrects. You know exactly why he's so nervous. The last time you saw him, you'd thought you'd never see him again. It was like one of those music videos you saw on youtube and commented on about how lame the song actually was, but it was just all too real to be a music video.

"So...how you been lately?" It was almost a nervous question and coming from you, that was really a feat as you were the Dave Strider and Striders did not get nervous. Ever.

"Good...You going to school here now?"

"Yea, decided it was time I gave this a shot."

"Cool...cool..."

"Yea..."

"So how about I get those books for you?"

"Sure. Sounds good."

What a horribly awkward conversation. One of those things that just never actually happens to you, but a lot of those things that never happen seemed to be happening today. John scurried off to get your books and you leaned heavily on the counter, sighing. This was just too weird. Four years and not a day went by that that nerd didn't cross your mind at some point. Despite the thick, choking layer of instant awkward that hung in the air, you were happy about seeing him again.

Yes, that's it. You were happy. A smile pressed itself upon your lips at this thought. It'd been a while since you'd even considered the emotion to be a part of your daily emotional cycle. Of course, there was then the object of how John felt and whether or not he'd hate you for life and you wouldn't really blame him if he did. You shifted your weight to your other foot, sighing yet again, feeling your phone vibrate in your pocket. If someone was texting you, that meant you'd definitively spent enough time up here already.


	2. In Which Dave Becomes A Cup Of Hot Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After much conversation, an exchanging of paper and a really, really awkward moment, you found yourself behind a bookshelf, gawking at the man leaning on the counter. Dave Strider. /The/ Dave Strider. The same Dave Strider you went to middle school with and high school. You even shared a schedule with him in Junior year except for fourth period. The same Dave Strider you had a total man-crush on like all of your life. The cool, collected, Dave Strider.
> 
> He hadn't changed a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want a steaming hot cup of Dave too!
> 
> Yeaaaaaaaaaa.

You are John Egbert and damn this counter is comfy. You're pretty sure that you spend more time sleeping at this counter than you do in your own bed. Really, it's amazing that you haven't been fired yet, and under another manager, you probably would be unemployed by now. Happily enough, though, your manager understood the sleep a college student never got and didn't really care if you slept as long as your drool wasn't left on the counter.

Last night had been your actual sleep night, as most Tuesdays you didn't have anything to study, but sleep had been fitful and Casey just didn't want to go to sleep and she refused to get out of bed and go sleep somewhere else. Casey was the dorm's cat. She wandered inside during a storm one night and of course Tavros fed her and she just never left. All of the other guys in the dorm accepted her happily and the dean didn't seem to care since she chased away the mice. Casey also liked to venture over to the girls' dorm, but she always came back before you went to bed. She loved your bed for some reason no one knew, but it was just some unspoken rule that when Casey was sleeping outside your door waiting for someone to let her in that they'd let her in. You didn't mind, of course, but there was those few restless nights where she kept you up and wouldn't just get up and go bother Tavros.

Prod...prod....

"Uuuuuung."

Prod....prod prod prod....

"Come on, Gam...Casey was up all night last night..."

"Dude, up."

Oh, crap. Not Gamzee, but an actual customer. That really should have been obvious as Gamzee usually honked when he needed you awake for something, which he hardly ever needed you awake for much of anything.

After much conversation, an exchanging of paper and a really, really awkward moment, you found yourself behind a bookshelf, gawking at the man leaning on the counter. Dave Strider. /The/ Dave Strider. The same Dave Strider you went to middle school with and high school. You even shared a schedule with him in Junior year except for fourth period. The same Dave Strider you had a total man-crush on like all of your life. The cool, collected, Dave Strider.

He hadn't changed a bit.

He still wore shades indoors and parted his hair the same way and just presented himself as the coolkid you knew he was. He looked the same he did four years ago with his noticeably tight black jeans and his skinny-fit red shirt. All-in-all his clothes still complimented the curves of his body that you'd come to admire so much. The only thing that was really different about the Dave Strider that stood at the counter was a new piercing in his left ear and a tattoo that stretched across the back of his neck and both of those things only seemed to make him more appealing-

Oh, no. You were so not being a total stalker and admiring Dave from behind a fuckin' bookshelf. You're so lame.

You shake your head and turn back to your list, running around the store and grabbing very heavy text book after very heavy text book, periodically placing them on the front counter until you've a stack of eight books sitting off to the side. Despite the looks of this job, it required a lot of muscle and stamina if you were going to be running around carrying fifty pounds of text and paper around for more than a few minutes. You'd managed to build up some of your own in the eight months you'd been working here and were quite proud of the obvious muscle tone you had. Still, lugging around those books left you breathless and you returned to your spot behind the counter panting.

Dave raised an eyebrow, probably second guessing why you were working in a place like this and whether or not he should have come here alone and without a cart. You smiled back at the gesture.

"So...what've you been up to?" You asked, trying to start conversation rather than check him out in silence- oh, bad choice of words. How about...bag him in silence-...ring up his books in silence.

"Nothin'. Stuff." What a typical answer.

"Stuff? Care to elaborate?"

"Nope."

"Gee."

"Yep."

So much for conversation.

"You seeing anyone?" You try again.

"Nope?"

"You /seen/ anyone?"

"No, not since..." Dave fell silent. Dave never fell silent, but you knew what he was going to say anyway.

"...since we were together?"

"...yea."

It seemed like some sort of a forbidden subject; something no one talked about anymore. A thing of the past. But for you, Dave was still a part of your every day life, something you thought about all the time. When you walked down the street and saw a guy wearing a pair of sunglasses, it reminded you of Dave. When you saw a red shirt, when a friend dragged you to a club, when you saw a box of friggin' hair bleach. Dave. Dave was part of the reason you began college. You needed to get your mind off of him, so you started school shortly after you two broke up in order to keep yourself busy and off of him. It didn't actually work, but college did have it's perks.

"So what brings you to college...?" Subject change. Nice call. Not very subtle, but nice.

"I got tired of sitting around and doing nothing." Dave didn't strike you ask the kind of guy who would sit around and do nothing, but you reminded yourself that he was indeed human even if his name was Dave Strider and humans had a tendency to waste their time doing nothing.

"What's your major?"

"Photography."

"Surprisingly, I can see you being really good at that."

"How is that surprising?"

"I don't know, you just seem like the kind of guy who would like...I don't know, throw college parties every night and try to major in something fun like, I dunno...sociology," You commented after a pause for thought.

"Probably, if I ever liked people enough to do that. I took photography because it just seemed easier than Criminal Science. I'm minoring in forensics, though. Not so much fun," Dave explained, making something of a face. You chuckled lightly, nodding.

"Yea, Criminal Science sounds interesting, but I'm kinda scared that criminals wouldn't take me very seriously if I took office in criminal justice."

"Hmm...probably not." Dave nodded, smiling just a bit; not enough to make anyone go crazy or anything, but enough for you to notice.

You brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, grinning widely before realizing that was such a girl-y move. Like something from 'The Sweetest Thing' staring Cameron Diaz. Just one of those stupid obvious moves that made you look like the cute girl from next door, even though you were clearly not a girl and you lived in a dorm, not down the street. Dave obviously noticed as he paused, but didn't say anything about it. You cleared your throat, pushing Dave's books across the counter towards him. "Your...umm...stuff."

"Yea. Thanks." Dave took his books with ease, which made you slightly jealous and awed at the same time that he was even that fit as to be carrying all of those really heavy books at once. He gave you a curt nod before wandering away. You watched him go with a frown on your face and when he was gone, you faceplanted into the counter with a groan.

"Jesus fucking Christ. Never in my life did I ever think I was actually going to see him again and he's still so cool and I'm working in a fucking bookstore and....fuck," You cursed louder than necessary. "God, I was such a jerk to him to and he probably hates me and...Jesus..." Again, too loud. "Fuuuuuuck," Dude, quit being so loud or someone is going to-

"Uh...John?"

"Hmm? Oh. Hey Tav."

"You okay?" Tavros asked with a concerned frown.

"Yea...fine. Just...got a little surprise," You mumbled in reply.

"Did Sollux bring you a different kind of coffee or something?"

"Yea...something like that." A tall, albino, kool kat, smoking hot cup of coffee. Yep. Something like that...


	3. In Which Dave Gets Ink Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bzzzzt. Bzzzzt. Bzzzzzzzzzt.
> 
> Damn phone. You flipped it open reading the usual "you're late 8lah 8lah 8lah get your 8utt over here" and replied with a simple "on my way now" before starting the engine to your bright red '69 Camero with black racing stripes and gunning off down the street. It took you fifteen minutes to actually get where you were going and you were only about ten minutes late. Some might even call it fashionably late. You stepped out of the car, closing and locking the door before opening the door that jingled a bell in welcome into the tattoo parlor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Dave has seven tattoos (eight now). Why? Why not.

You are Dave Strider and holy shit these books are heavy. Of course, you made carrying these bad boys look effortless, but it most certainly was not. In fact, you didn't see how an all around wimp like Egbert was working at a store that required so much physical labor. By the time you finally managed to get to your car your arms felt like jelly and you were ready to just sit there for a few minutes while you tried to regain feeling in your biceps. Unfortunately, there was no time for that as you were running late as it was.

Bzzzzt. Bzzzzt. Bzzzzzzzzzt.

Damn phone. You flipped it open reading the usual "you're late 8lah 8lah 8lah get your 8utt over here" and replied with a simple "on my way now" before starting the engine to your bright red '69 Camero with black racing stripes and gunning off down the street. It took you fifteen minutes to actually get where you were going and you were only about ten minutes late. Some might even call it fashionably late. You stepped out of the car, closing and locking the door before opening the door that jingled a bell in welcome into the tattoo parlor.

It was a very old fashioned place as it used to be a barber shop before it was turned into a tattoo parlor and it still had that sixties feel. The floor was still checkered tiled, though it had quite a few ink stains on the polished surfaces. The chairs were still covered in red leather, but the leather was worn and torn in some places. While many things gave it that tattoo joint jive, you just couldn't help but run your fingers through your hair and frown. You couldn't say you enjoyed getting haircuts since that one time that Bro nearly sliced your ear off trying to take "a little off the top". The girl at the counter recognized you at once and she smiled, leaning her chin in her hands, her elbow propped up on the counter. "Well, about time."

"I'm here, aren't I?" You remarked, stuffing your keys into your pocket. This was the only place you ever got ink done and you'd been here at least seven times prior. You were pretty sure that the artist, Equius, knew your body better than any other man did. Well, that is, except for John.

"What're we getting you today?" Vriska asked, admiring the sleeves of tattoos she had on either arm.

"What I had in mind isn't really fitting my mood right now. How about...I don't know, surprise me," You mused for a moment.

"How about, where do you want it?"

"I dunno, my ribs I guess."

"Ouch. That's going to hurt, you know."

"I know."

"Okay. I'm going to do this tattoo on you this time, though," Vriska winked.

"Alright."

"How about, you don't get to see it until it's done," She proposed, giggling.

"I'm going to regret agreeing to this, but fine," You agree after a moment's thought. You're not going anywhere else today.

"Fine then, but I'm going to have to go further than just your ribs. I'm going to use your entire side."

"Whatever."

"Give me a minute to draw something up."

You waited for about twenty minutes for her to get everything gathered before you went into the back and took off your shirt, throwing it under the chair before letting Vriska get to work on your new tattoo, without looking at what she was actually doing. She could be stealing your kidney for all you know, but you really don't care.

"So, what's eating at you?" She asked, grabbing more black ink into her pen.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Not really. I'm just special."

You sighed. "I saw John today."

Vriska laughed. "Is that all? Wow, the way you're carrying yourself I thought Bro had died or something."

"No, but it's about that bad. I haven't seen him in four years and I'm sure he hates me," You mumbled, shifting a little as Vriska needed you to.

"So what? If you haven't asked him, you don't know. Either way, I don't really care."

"Of course you don't."

Another thirty minutes of inking and buzzing. "Almost done."

Fifteen more minutes.

"There," Vriska nodded, wiping the blood and excess ink off your side for the last time as she rolled away and let you get up and go look in the mirror. You raised an eyebrow at the burning ink in your side and you saw Vriska smirk. "Well?"

"It's...actually pretty cool," You commented. "Not exactly what you'd expect, but still," You turned a little, looking at the full weaving of roses and thorns that ranged from the top of your rib cage and down your side ending just below the top of your hip. The roses were all in black and white and the only things of color was three red butterflies placed precariously upon random roses. It was done in some sort of graffiti looking biker-chick tattoo style that didn't make it girly, but it was certainly not Dave-Strider-Badass. It wasn't bad looking, but it would certainly pose some questions if you were ever caught shirtless, though.

"Cool. Now pay up."

You paid for the tattoo and went on your merry way, John on your mind and very little money left in your pockets.


	4. In Which John Decides To Have A Flirt-Fest In The Library By The Definition Of Karkat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your (stalker) instincts led you to stare across the room at Karkat, who refused to be called _Mr. Vantas_ as he claimed it made him feel "LIKE AN OLD FUCK". So, Karkat sufficed for just about everyone except for Sollux, the second librarian, who actually had the balls to call him KK.
> 
> You had no idea what the hell was so alluring about this Karkat character, but there was just something about him that forced you to see past his asshole demeanor and calling you a fuckass whenever he saw fit for insult. Honestly, there wasn't really anything all that impressive but perhaps it was simply the apparent way he truly seemed to care for others. Most people didn't see it because most people weren't like you in the sense that they didn't try to find the light in the darkest of people, but you felt that Karkat was just really, really misunderstood and probably really messed up in the head, but all he really wanted was someone to understand or at least put up with him long enough to be considered a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written on a migraine and medication high, so I honestly don't remember most of it and I'm too scared to go back and read it for fear that it be crap. I had someone else edit it, so I don't actually know if there are a metric shit-ton of typos or something, so if you see one, comment and let me know.
> 
> IN OTHER WORDS!!!
> 
> Oh, John, you stalker.

You are John Egbert and you are by no means a stalker, so then why the hell are you really, really good at it? You suppose it had something to do with being overall socially awkward. Let's face it, high school was just one big pit of fail where you only had four friends (if you were that lucky) and absolutely no life outside of your room where you constantly talked to afore mentioned friends. The only reason you'd have been slightly known was those many times that you'd pulled the fire alarm (which was oh-so worth it) or started a food fight (still worth it) or that one time that you hid the lunch ladies' hairnets (that one wasn't all that worth it as you soon discovered that hairnets were worn for a reason). You were by no means popular and to even think about functioning in a normal society with would-be-normal people you had to know how to act. Your friends were far from normal and you weren't really learning much from your dad in the manner of social behavior, so most of this was learned through watching. Some people liked to call it stalking, but it was really just observing. The same person. Over and over again. While following them. Just watching. Not stalking.

The latest subject of your dutiful ~~stalking~~ observing was none other than the librarian. Well, one of them at least. There were actually two of them, and while you weren't entirely sure that they ever got anything actually done by themselves, they somehow managed to keep their positions. This was probably because on their own they were both rather intimidating as one had no idea what the term _inside voice_ meant and the other always hid himself behind a computer desk and dual colored glasses that you weren't really sure of the purpose, so it was probably not a good idea to make either of them mad if the situation was avoidable.

Your (stalker) instincts led you to stare across the room at Karkat, who refused to be called _Mr. Vantas_ as he claimed it made him feel "LIKE AN OLD FUCK". So, Karkat sufficed for just about everyone except for Sollux, the second librarian, who actually had the balls to call him KK.

You had no idea what the hell was so alluring about this Karkat character, but there was just something about him that forced you to see past his asshole demeanor and calling you a fuckass whenever he saw fit for insult. Honestly, there wasn't really anything all that impressive but perhaps it was simply the apparent way he truly seemed to care for others. Most people didn't see it because most people weren't like you in the sense that they didn't try to find the light in the darkest of people, but you felt that Karkat was just really, really misunderstood and probably really messed up in the head, but all he really wanted was someone to understand or at least put up with him long enough to be considered a friend.

You stared at him from over the top of your laptop, trying to be subtle. You watched as he carefully shelved books, probably putting several of them on the wrong shelf and just not caring. At least he was actually _doing_ his job, which is more than you could say for yourself seeing as how you were constantly having to be woken up. Seriously. Ever heard of sleeping at night?

You leaned forward, bent over the circular table meant for the purpose of study, peering closer at the figure reading titles and placing books without actually looking where he was placing them which is probably why no one in the library found anything they were looking for except for everything they weren't. You twirled your left ear-bud which you weren't actually using to blast Stay Young by Strata into your brain. No, that was reserved for the right ear-bud which successfully made you deaf to the right side of the library. As far as you were concerned the right side of the library didn't exist at the moment. Actually, most of the library didn't exist right now save for the small section that Karkat was standing in, raising an eyebrow at an odd title he probably read like "How I Invented Soft-Core Pornography" or something, which was actually a book that this library had. You recalled picking it up once and putting it back right afterward, not really wanting to know about the guy who invented soft-core porn.

You quickly discovered that Karkat was really fun to watch as he made faces. With every title he read, he made a face that would pretty much give away what he thought of the thing. Some books he looked interested in and even opened a few and others her glared at as if their existence was a waste if they didn't please him. You giggled aloud at once face in particular as he found a book with a title that he obviously couldn't believe and opened the book to read what seemed to be the first page before pulling a face that looked like shock and disgust gave birth to a baby all over his expression.

Apparently you giggled a bit too loud as Karkat looked up and caught you staring and gave you a fierce glare that clearly said _WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT, FUCKASS_ and made you smile even wider. Apparently, you didn't understand that this was a demand that you drop your goofy happy-face before he forced you to. That was okay, though, because you dropped your happy-face seconds later as a huge bang-thud-thing sound was heard to your right by your left ear and made you jump about ten feet in the air before flopping back into your chair, clutching at your chest, trying to still the beating of your frenzied heart. You stared at the destroyer of silence, your right ear-bud having fallen out when you panicked and thought the world was coming to a friggin' end. Smooth.

"Jesus, Egbert. Calm your tits, it's just some books," Dave said, raising an eyebrow from behind his black shades.

"Fucking hell, Dave! You scared the shit out of me! Text books are meant to be read, not dropped onto tables to give poor, unsuspecting people heart attacks," You hissed, trying really hard to be angry because you were in a library which was meant to be a quiet place and Dave wasn't be quiet but, damn, you had to admit that was a good one. You pulled a smile and snorted a small chuckle. "Good one, though."

"Only you would compliment someone for giving you a miniature stroke as long as it was funny," Dave huffed and you could totally tell he was giving you the eye-roll right about now as he welcomed himself into the seat next to you at your otherwise empty table.

"Sure, Dave, you can totally sit by me. I don't mind," You mused, reminding him that he didn't ask if he could have that seat. "You didn't lose your manners in the past four years, have you?"

"No, I just knew you wouldn't care. You should know, Egbert, I can read minds."

"Oh really."

"Yep."

"Then what am I thinking?" You challenged.

"That's easy, you're thinking about how amazingly good looking I am after four years of aging and you're curious as to why I'm here," Dave answered, opening one of his textbooks and flipping through the pages.

"Well, at least half of that was right."

"It was the first half."

"Pffft. You wish," You heaved playfully. You stuck your left ear-bud in this time and twirled your right one instead, abandoning the existence of the other side of the library. "...so?"

"So what? Why do I still look so amazing? I don't know, I guess it's just a-"

"No, dope. Why're you here?" You sighed, rolling your eyes. You know- ...wait... Did you really just call Dave Strider a _dope_? _The_ Dave Strider. Wow.

"I go to school here, duh. Bro doesn't have to work today and he claims that it is necessary to flood the house with really, really loud Ke$ha and Nicki Minaj until the neighbors that aren't home complain," He explained with a hint of annoyance at Bro for being so Bro-like today of all days.

You felt yourself smile in spite of Dave's blatant disliking of the current situation. "Bro was always and interesting kind of guy."

"If by 'interesting' you mean 'one fucked up nutjob' then yea, he's interesting," Dave mumbled. You gave a laugh and tried not to snort like a dweeb when you did it. "Yea, but I figured that the library was a good place to go for quiet and I just saw you, and events kind of just fell into place."

You shrugged and changed the song on your computer and turned it up a little more and smiled back at Dave. You opened your mouth to say something and then-

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY ANOTHER FUCKING WORD."

"AH!"

"Jegus! Shut up!"

"Fuck! Karkat! Holy..."

"This is a library. Take your loud flirt-fest somewhere else." Karkat snapped, crossing his arms over his chest.

You raised an eyebrow at Karkat. He was always mad about something, but he seemed especially pissed and you really didn't know why. "What's wrong?"

"What does it look like, fuckass!? You're fucking screaming at your hipster friend when he's three feet from you!" Karkat growled, placing his hands on his hips.

"Oh, sorry. We'll keep it down."

"Whatever...fuckass." Karkat sighed, wandering away.

You watched him leave with puzzlement.

"Is he always like that?" Dave asked, turning around to look at Karkat and probably glare at him silently from behind his shades.

"Well...mostly but not always that angry." You answered. Something that could bother Karkat to unusual levels of anger was obviously a big threat to himself or someone he knew because that was the only things he ever actually got angry about, other than that it was probably just a matter of liking to yell or his natural personality. Something was definitely up with Karkat and it was probably something to do with you because you were the one his anger was directed at. Now, the question that remained posed in the air was what exactly you did.


	5. In Which Karkat Finds Reason To Throw Books At John

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _The scoundrel._
> 
> You plopped down into your chair behind the crappy Dell computer that was provided for you and glared at the two of them. John was so. Fucking. Innocent. Could he not see that this guy was trying to woo him with senseless hipster charm? It was obvious! The vibe radiating from Mr. Cool-Shades over there was just dripping with longing for the derp sitting next to him. And John didn't seem to notice! There was just no way that John would be okay with that, there just wasn't. John was too derp-y to notice enough to even begin to think about being okay with being hit on by some fucking low-life, human trafficking, drug dealer from Chicago. Yes, he had to be from Chicago. The bad side of Chicago. Oh Gog, he was probably a pleasure killer after John's sweet, innocent blood. Oh shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is this!? Karkat!?
> 
> Yes. Yes it is.
> 
> You have no idea how long it took for me to get angry enough to write Karkat. No idea.
> 
> For Kathleen! Who managed to get me angry, and I still have no idea how. Here's some angry, jealous Karkat for you, complete with book chucking! Le evil laugh.

Your name is Karkat Vantas and what the fuck do you think you're doing!?

You totally just flipped your shit at John and the hell if you know why, but it's probably safe to say that it's the stupid hipster's fault. Everything was fine and normal and John just decides to get completely friendly with a stranger he'd never mentioned to you before. Maybe he was a drug dealer or a pimp, or maybe even both and he was just looking to shoot John full of some drug and make a quick buck out of him.

 _The scoundrel._

You plopped down into your chair behind the crappy Dell computer that was provided for you and glared at the two of them. John was so. Fucking. Innocent. Could he not see that this guy was trying to woo him with senseless hipster charm? It was obvious! The vibe radiating from Mr. Cool-Shades over there was just dripping with longing for the derp sitting next to him. And John didn't seem to notice! There was just no way that John would be okay with that, there just wasn't. John was too derp-y to notice enough to even begin to think about being okay with being hit on by some fucking low-life, human trafficking, drug dealer from Chicago. Yes, he had to be from Chicago. The bad side of Chicago. Oh Gog, he was probably a pleasure killer after John's sweet, innocent blood. Oh shit.

"Jeguth, KK, calm your thit," A man said, sitting down behind the computer next to you and setting down a fresh cup of coffee.

"What shit. My shit is completely calm. What the fuck, Sollux. Why the fuck do you need more coffee?" You snapped, glaring at the freshly brewed mug of disgusting black liquid.

"Your thit ith not calm, tho calm it and I happen to like coffee," Sollux sighed, taking a sip of the scalding liquid. You suspected that he had no nerves in the back of his throat because if he did there was no way he'd be able to drink coffee that hot.

"Fuck you and your coffee."

"He'th not a rapitht."

"I didn't say he was a rapist," You retorted.

"You were thinking it," He chided.

"No. Actually, I wasn't."

"Oh, wath it more along the lineth of pleathure killer? Or wath it human trafficker," Sollux huffed, his breath smelling of imported Brazilian coffee beans.

"Shut up, fuckass," Oh, what a brilliant comeback. Care to tell him he's right, again?

"Knew it."

"So what!? He probably is! Just look at him, making nice and when he gets John alone, he'll slaughter him in his sleep!"

"Why do you care? Not everyone ith out to get John'th thex. Or hith blood. Or a combination of the two," Sollux groaned. You glared at him. Yes they were. John was so stupid and unseeing when it came to people and ill intentions and you knew he knew this. Not only did he know this, but he refused to change his constantly positive outlook, even though he knew what it was to hurt. How'd you know he knew the pain caused by one of these people? It was the look in his eye that he got whenever he was lost in thought or when he glanced at select people who obviously reminded him of this pain. That look...it was a bad look for him. He looked so much better when he was happy and smiling with a ridiculously large grin at nothing in particular. He didn't look good when he was sad. In fact, you were pretty sure that if you ever saw him crying you'd deck the fucker who decided it was a good idea to make him cry in the face. John was just one of those people you felt for, you fell for, you would do anything for if he asked with sincerity. Gog, it got so fucking annoying at times.

"Just fucking shut up."

"Hith name ith Dave."

"What?"

"Mr. Cool-Kid over there. Hith name ith Dave."

Oh, so it had a name now. Brilliant. Just brilliant. Well, Karkat was going to take _Dave_ and wring his little neck, that was what he was going to do and then- Wait...how did Sollux know his name?

"John wath babbling yetherday about thome Dave perthon who popped up out of the blue. Thomthing about not theeing him for four yearth." Sollux explained. "I can only athume that thith ith thaid Dave perthon."

"I fucking hate that guy."

"Of courthe you do."

"Are you implying something, fuckass!? I'll break your fucking neck."

"Will you jutht thutup and do your fucking work?"

You huffed angrily and turned back to your own computer screen, clicking through windows and tabs before checking in several books and standing to shelve them. As you made to the fiction section, you turned to look at John and this _Dave_ person just as Dave stood. Yes! He was leaving! Fucking finally. Dickwad. Dave grinned as John said something and Dave ruffled his hair a little. John shoved at him playfully before Dave scooped him up into a choke-hold and gave him a noogie. John cringed and giggled, fighting off Dave's grip. You grit your teeth so hard that it hurt before grabbing the nearest paperback copy of "Eragon" and chucking it at the two, hitting John in the side and grazing Dave.

"Ouch!" John snapped and Dave let go of John quickly. John looked over to where the book was coming from and he saw you and his eyes turned apologetic. You pressed a finger firmly to your lips and mouthed "SHUT THE FUCK UP, FUCKASS." before moving on, fuming as you shoved book after book into the shelves, not even bothering to read the titles like you normally do or indulge in the secrets that the paper held. No, right now all you could see was the way John smiled at him and how it was so sincere and brimming with glee that you'd only ever seen in John a few select times and how much you fucking hated Dave.


	6. In Which Dave Has A Life And Death Struggle With Everyday Plaque

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (True facts: Striders battle to the death with plaque every morning. A Strider versus plaque is like Chuck Norris versus everything else. Striders never lose this early morning struggle.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Later than I promised, but hey, it's here, right?
> 
> /bricked

You are Dave Strider and it is way too early to be awake. You know this. Judging by the light coming through the crack in your curtains it isn't even noon yet. What kind of insane person was awake before noon, anyway?

Apparently you.

Why, exactly, did your brain decide to wake up now? Lord only knows. It was too early to think about important things like that. Important things like why your phone was buzzing wildly on the floor next to your bed in a mass of the clothes you'd shed before retiring in boxers. Important things like why the hell you set your stupid phone alarm so early. Important things like how you had Latin this morning and Bro would probably be home soon and you could really use a shower before he got in and used up all the hot water-

Oh shit.

You had Latin this morning.

Fuck.

Who the hell has a Latin lecture at nine in the morning? Your Latin professor had guts, making you get out of bed before noon at the earliest. You reached a hand down and snatched up your phone, turning off your alarm, glaring at the time which was only seven by the way. Might as well be four in the morning to you.

You found a shirt on the floor and did a quick sniff test and determined that it was fine for one more day before snatching some jeans and (hopefully) clean boxers and fleeing towards the shower, hoping that Bro was working late and wasn't home to used up all the water.

Due to the cost of college and the loneliness of living without a roommate, you'd arranged to move in with Bro again simply because that was the easiest course of action. Yea, the fridge was still full of shitty swords and Bro wasn't exactly the most desirable living partner but he paid his half of the rent on time (when you bugged him enough, at least) and he respected your space enough to not be all up in your face about stupid shit.

By some grace of whatever god there might be out there, the water ran hot when you turned it on and you got your happy ass in there before Bro could do anything about it because you knew he wasn't above stealing the shower from you when you were only half done. You washed as quickly as a ten minute shower allowed, which was just about enough time to keep these good looks lookin' fine, before getting out and toweling yourself dry, dressing and brushing your teeth vigorously.

(True facts: Striders battle to the death with plaque every morning. A Strider versus plaque is like Chuck Norris versus everything else. Striders never lose this early morning struggle.)

Divine powers just seemed to think you were the golden child this morning because just as you finished rinsing out your toothbrush there came a pounding at the door. Normally people knock three times but Bro seemed determined to knock until you opened the door or break it down if you didn't.

"Jesus, okay. Okay!" You snapped, throwing your towel over your head and opening the door. "What?"

"Get out."

"Well alright then. Good morning to you too."

"Why are you even awake?" Bro growled in an even tone, pushing past you to get into the bathroom.

"I have class," You shrugged.

"This early?"

"I know, right? Sucks."

"Big time. You save me any water?"

"I only took like ten minutes. You'd have kicked me out if I took any longer."

"You're smart kid, I'll give you that. Now scram."

And with that he pushed you out the door and slammed it behind you. Not like it mattered, you were done in there anyway. You rolled your eyes anyway and trudged back to your room, throwing your towel on the floor to dry and running your fingers through your hair to part it and tame the damp wild beast. Perhaps it was time for a haircut. Then again, when it dried your hair looked pretty slick so what did it matter? Probably not.

You picked up your trademark shades which gave you pause for a moment as you looked at them fondly. These were the very pair of sunglasses that John had given you for your birthday all those years ago and you'd rather die than have to replace them. Of course, Bro had tried to make you get rid of them shortly after you and John had broken up in a little project Bro titled 'Ten Easy Steps To Getting Over Your Douche For A Leaving Ex-Boyfriend'. The getting rid of any and all items related to John was step four. Or was it five? Whatever. It was a stupid project. You distinctly remember Bro taking your glasses at one point and you totally decking him in the face before stealing him back which began a week of silence between you both. Not the regular silence where you see each other but don't speak like normal Striders, but the kind of silence that is still and heavy and filled with obvious animosity. You didn't regret it, though.

No. You'd never regret him- IT...never regret IT.

You slipped into your shades, grabbed your keys, your phone, your wallet and your backpack full of a couple textbooks and a few spirals before heading out the door. The life of a Strider was never easy, but haters were gonna hate and bakers were gonna bake. Striders? Well they were gonna stride.

A breakfast burrito and a stop for some gas later you pulled up into the parking lot of Ampora University, determined not to get lost this time.

You managed to find your classroom with ease to find students conversing as the lecture had yet to begin. You decided that a seat in the back was in good mindset because you could fall asleep if the lecture got too boring to hold your attention. You turned to your left to see mostly open seats except for a few fellow slackers at the back of the class. One in particular seemed to have this lazy thing down because he was still in his Kingdom Hearts pajamas and snoring lightly into his Pokemon pillow. This guy had you beat in the nerd factor for sure. And were those Legend of Zelda slippers? Damn.

Wow. You were so sitting next to this fool. Wasn't anyway you were going to slip up the ironic purposes of being seen with this- oh fuck. That was totally John.

And wouldn't it be something if you were there to say good morning to him.


	7. In Which The World Comes To An End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What're you doing here anyway?"
> 
> "I'm attending my classes like a model student," Dave informed with a hint of what was his famous sarcasm. You had to admit, you appreciated the way he talked so casually. Not very many people could be so relaxed in a situation, yourself included, but he seemed to be able to do it like it was an art.
> 
> "No, really, what're you doing here?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so late with this but whatever.
> 
> So who else is riding the Jake/Dirk ship?

You are John Egbert and the world is coming to an end.

You were all going to die.

You lifted your head and you heard someone scream something unintelligible. You raised your hand like the master ninja you were and spun towards the source of the end of the world and you saw...Dave.

Dave and a pile of books.

Dave couldn't help the smirk on his face and he laughed. He actually fucking laughed. You were still busy trying to process this whole end of the world thing and why Dave was smiling if the world was about to blow up. Unless the world was fine and Dave decided to drop his books on the desk and scare the shit out of you in the process of waking you up.

"What're you gonna do, Egbert? Karate chop me?" He chuckled wickedly and you glared at him.

"Dave! Not funny!"

"It was fucking hilarious."

"You have _got_ to stop doing that. I swear you're going to give me a heart attack," You sighed, placing a hand over your heart. This seemed to be Dave's favorite way of sneaking up on you: dropping whatever he was carrying so that it made and really, really loud noise on whatever he'd dropped it on. It was funny at first but now it was getting old. You supposed you'd get used to it over time but time didn't seem to move fast enough because you still weren't used to it.

"What're you doing here anyway?"

"I'm attending my classes like a model student," Dave informed with a hint of what was his famous sarcasm. You had to admit, you appreciated the way he talked so casually. Not very many people could be so relaxed in a situation, yourself included, but he seemed to be able to do it like it was an art.

"No, really, what're you doing here?"

"John Egbert, are you calling me a liar?" He huffed with false hurt. "I have Latin too. It was the only language that looked like it was interesting enough to keep me awake and that I'd never actually have to use. Mind you, I'd much rather be sleeping."

"Yea, me too."

"I can tell."

"What? Really?"

"John, you're in your nerd pajamas. And you brought a pillow," He said with amusement, raising an eyebrow and probably wondering why in the world you didn't know this yourself.

"I am? Oh! I am. I was up all night last night and I lost track of the time. Didn't occur to me to change and my backpack broke so I carry my books around in this pillow case," You shrugged, showing him your textbooks in disguise. 

"What? Your backpack broke? When did that happen?" Came a female voice from your other side as an African American woman slipped into the seat beside you.

"Only like forever ago. Where have you been?"

"Well no one told me exactly, so how was I supposed to know?"

"Hmm. Good question. Speaking of good questions, how are you doing today Terezi?"

"Oh it's awful. I woke up with blood spewing forth from my vagina," You cringed at the blunt imagery that you really didn't need. "So who's your delicious smelling friend?" Terezi asked which earned her a confused look from Dave.

"Oh, that's Dave. Apparently he's going to bother me in Latin too," You introduced.

"Ooooooo, so _that's_ Dave. I can see why you two used to-"

"Terezi!" You scoffed loudly.

"What? All I'm saying is that he smells really, really hot," She said defensively, holding up her hands in mock surrender.

You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose. "Yes, yes, thank you for clearing that up for me. I never could have guess that Dave was hot." You mumbled sarcastically.

"You still think I'm hot?" Dave chuckled lightly. There was a million ways to respond to this question. Most people would have made it into a joke or brushed it off. You did the Egbert thing and flipped your shit at the awkward question.

"NO! I mean...yes? M-maybe. Oh gog, can we not do this now, please?" You stuttered quickly, burying your head in your hands and blushing deeply. You were always awkward when it came to this whole lovers thing. Even with girls you had been awkward and especially with Dave the god of sex and cool. You could have sworn that just being a Strider made him at least fifty percent sexier and then he had to go and be not only a Strider but Dave-motherfucking-Strider which kind of blew the lid on the sex-o-meter and-

Oh fuck, you were seriously not having this conversation in your head right now. Not right now.

Later.

Not now.

You were saved by the Latin Professor walking into the room and beginning the lecture on the language and the complexity that was Roman and Greek culture except you were studying Latin which was a Roman language so Greek shouldn't actually matter but somehow it did. Oh just wait until you get to the Celts and everything else. It'll only confuse you more.


	8. In Which Dave Finds Himself A Study Group

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Over the past several weeks since finding John again you'd managed to come to terms with several things.
> 
> First off, John was and always has been your muse which is probably why your mixes were beginning to sound good again and you weren't constantly bashing on the god of inspiration to fork over some of that mind turning juice because you could make your own now just by thinking about John. 
> 
> Secondly, you were so much happier now. It seemed that just being near John and his derpishness made the whole world better and brighter and his hopeful optimism made you think that maybe not everyone in the world was a selfish asshole all the time and you might be able to go out in public without silently judging the world from behind your black shades.
> 
> And third, you never stopped loving John in the first place and even now he managed to drive you insane without trying. There was nothing you could do about it, though and it wasn't like you could just stop being around John. He made you something more than yourself like you were the half of something incomplete and John's fingers just fit perfectly in the spaces between yours...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE! HAVE A CHAPTER.
> 
> I finally got unbusy enough to write this thing. Ya'll be excited for chapter nine because shit is gonna get so real in that chapter.

You are Dave Strider and you fucking hate reading.

Well, that's not entirely true. You just hated reading what people told you to read. What was the irony in reading greek plays because your history professer told you to? Exactly.

There was no irony in it.

There was also no irony in leaving Bro alone to mess with his turntables so you could go to class and come to the library and study. Today was so unironic that you were about to pass out from the impending boredom as you dragged yourself to the library grudgingly after the longest and least ironic history class ever. Why the library? It was quiet and generally void of people you didn't want to talk to.

You hadn't seen John anywhere but Latin class since the first time you'd found him in the library but that didn't mean that you didn't get your own hopes up that he'd be there. Realistically you know he probably wasn't but you could always imagine that he sat opposite of you as you sat down and you had pleasent conversation and when you asked him if he wanted to go to dinner he'd say yes and the night would begin and he'd get drunk and you'd take him home and stay the night with him but you'd never take advantage over him like that and in the morning when he woke up he'd thank you for being such a cool guy and things would just be the way they were before he left you.

But when you open your eyes there's nothing but an empty seat behind you and the low rustle of turning pages as other students reath through boring text books and you were left to wallow silently in your own self-pity.

Over the past several weeks since finding John again you'd managed to come to terms with several things.

First off, John was and always has been your muse which is probably why your mixes were beginning to sound good again and you weren't constantly bashing on the god of inspiration to fork over some of that mind turning juice because you could make your own now just by thinking about John.

Secondly, you were so much happier now. It seemed that just being near John and his derpishness made the whole world better and brighter and his hopeful optimism made you think that maybe not everyone in the world was a selfish asshole all the time and you might be able to go out in public without silently judging the world from behind your black shades.

And third, you never stopped loving John in the first place and even now he managed to drive you insane without trying. There was nothing you could do about it, though and it wasn't like you could just stop being around John. He made you something more than yourself like you were the half of something incomplete and John's fingers just fit perfectly in the spaces between yours...

...but that was some deep and sentimental stuff and this was only to be thought about when you were positively alone and no one was around to watch you pull out your hair or cry because this was some deep shit, these feelings. (For the record, Striders didn't cry. Ever.)

You didn't look around the library as you sat down, not even bothering to look for John like you normally did, having given up all hope of ever seeing him anywhere outside of Latin class every again. You sat and opened up your laptop, sighing as you didn't even look to see who was on Pesterchum because you honestly just did not care right now with all this boringness. You conformed to the stupid quiet of the library, putting your earbuds in and turning up your music, some song you didn't actually care to listen to coming on.

It was several minutes before you were interrupted from updating your blog by the feeling of something jumping into your lap and laying there and it was a few minutes more before you actually looked down at it. It was a cat?

Yes.

A cat.

Why was there a cat in your lap? Why was there even a cat in the library? You stroked the cat's yellowish fur and she purred loudly, leaning into your hand as you scratched her cheek. You grinned internally as you pulled out your headphones and pet her some more just as you heard someone in the background asking about a cat.

"Oh my gosh, have you seen my cat? She just kind of wandered off. No? Okay, sorry for bothering you I guess."

"Hey, is this your cat?" You asked without looking at whoever behind you who was asking about their lost kitten.

"Oh my gosh, yes! Casey!" They sounded quite relieved as they rushed over to pluck the cat from your lap. You looked up and... _Well I'll be damned._

"Hey, Egbert."

"Oh! Hey, Dave! Sorry about Casey. She doesn't really wander off...much."

"And you have your cat in the library...why?" You asked curiously.

"She just kind of likes to follow me here and Karkat and Sollux are fine with it so...why not," He grinned goofily and you had to force yourself not to smile back because that would be so uncool.

You folded your arms over your chest. "So what's up?" You asked casually as you tried not to think of John in immodest ways because fuck he looked good with no clothes on and he looked good in your arms and-

Shit, no no no. You weren't even dating anymore. Were you still allowed to think about him like that? Did he still think about you like that? Probably not but fuck did it make your heart soar to think he did. To think that he still got hot under the collar when he remembered all the things you used to do and sighed in earnest when he thought of everything you two used to have in very much the same way you still do. Such a thing was...was...impossible. John had obviously moved on and was unbothered by being in your presence while you mentally trembled just when you looked at him; from the aching need to hear his voice and see him smile and it hurt. It hurt so much. But you'd much rather feel this pain and be able to see him than feel numb.

"Oh I'm just here studying for that Latin test with Terezi and Tavros. Well...mostly Terezi since Tavros doesn't actually take Latin. He was just bored. You're welcome to join us if you'd li-"

"Woah, wait. Hold up a minute."

"What?"

"Is...that a lip ring?"

"Wha...Oh! Yea. Why? Does it look weird? I mean, I got it like a year ago but I don't ever really wear it because I think it looks stupid," He muttered nervously and as if he could tell what you were thinking he answered your question before you asked it. "It was a bet. Me and a few friends got drunk and Karkat told me I was too...uhh...whimpish to get a lip piercing and I did but it still looks stupid."

"I think it's pretty cute," You complimented and he looked away from you and blushed lightly. Fuck, did you really just call him cute? Oh shit, you hoped this didn't make things awkward. You'd meant it in one of those ironically cute kinda ways where-...oh fuck. You couldn't even come up with a good excuse for this one.

"O-oh...um...thanks," He mumbled, paying very close attention to Casey like if he stared at her long enough he'd unlock the secrets to the universe.

"So you were talking about your study group?" You asked, smoothly trying to change the subject. He willingly let you change it and things went from super mega awkward to alright in about three seconds flat. Such was the magic powers of an Egbert.

"Yea! We're all over there if you want to come," He invited eagerly. You closed your laptop and stood up, nodding at him.

"Shall we?" You asked and he nodded eagerly, giving you a look that he probably stole from Nic Cage.

"Yes, let us shall." He said and oh fuck he was such a derp but you managed not to facepalm yourself as you followed him over to a table where you were instantly greeted by Terezi.

"Ooooh, do I smell a Dave Strider," She giggled.

"Yo', Terezi. Tavros," You nodded at the two. Tavros waved his hand in greeting, smiling before he went back to reading whatever book he had open. You mused over whether or not he was Brazillian but you decided to just ask him later. He just had really tan skin and wasn't very hispanic looking.

"Hey there, hot stuff," Terezi winked from behind her red 80's glasses. She pulled out the chair next to her and pushed John's books aside. "Come sit with me."

John rolled his eyes but nodded at you as he bent over to put Casey down and...was that a tattoo? As his shirt rolled up his back ever so slightly you swore you saw some ink back there and you were quick to grab his shirt and push it up just a little further to reveal John's nerd tattoo.

"Ack! D-Dave, what're you doing?" John blushed, standing up straight and trying to swat your hand away.

"Yeesh, calm down, princess. I was just looking at your ink. Nice poke'ball."

"W-what? Oh. Yeah. That," He mumbles and there is no way that that was disapointment that you heard in his voice because that would just be weird and Egbert was over you and perhaps you were explaining this too much. 

You grant him a small smile before you sit next to Terezi and the next few hours are filled with Casey refusing to move from your lap and Terezi trying to break your cool face with licking and it almost works except for the fact that it doesn't and with John laughing and smiling and freaking out and you think to yourself that you could get used to this.


	9. In Which John Finds That Teasing Karkat Is A Whole Hell Of A Lot Of Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh thank god. You heard the bell ring which signaled that someone had walked in. You straightened your posture and looked towards the door, grinning lightly as Karkat came in, looking inconvenienced. He walked up to the counter with a cup of coffee and placed it on the counter. 
> 
> "Here. Enjoy your revolting mixture of bean-juice and hot water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahahaaaa. Haha. Ha.
> 
> I'm gonna go shoot myself now.
> 
> Sorry for you people who actually got excited for this. It sounded waaay way better in my head.

You are John Egbert and waiting for coffee sucked.

Generally, Sollux would bring by coffee early in the morning and ask if you wanted some but he wasn't here yet and the slowness of your job and having stayed up all night was starting to get to you.

Not to mention that in the silence you could let your mind wander and think about things that were better off left alone. Things like how much cake your dad probably made and he was probably going to over dose on sugar and how maybe screaming 'fire' in a public place wasn't such a good idea and Dave. Mostly Dave.

Dave liked to think he was all cool and shit but you could see through that easily. You saw through the games he liked to play and if you paid attention, you could see the emotions on his face as he tried to hide them. 

Actually, no. No you couldn't.

But you liked to think you could see through Dave. Sometimes it'd be better if you could. Honestly, it was getting kind of old, the way he was acting. One minute he'd compliment you or something and then he'd brush it off like he meant something else by it when clearly he'd meant what he'd said in the first place.

Or...at least, you wanted him to mean it.

Kind of.

It was confusing, even in your head.

You used to be in love with Dave. That you were positive of. But did you still love him now? Maybe. You don't know. 

If you were to be honest with anyone, you'd have to admit that Dave was a very, very hard person to love. He was quiet but when he did speak he was cryptic. He was also the world's most sarcastic asshole and sometimes it'd get on your nerves a bit. He never meant what he said or said what he meant and irony meant more than most things with him. There are just some of the worse things about him.

He was also sweet in subtle ways and while he was hesitant to say it, you'd always known Dave loved you back (you think, at least) and he did stupid stuff just to make you laugh and on those few occasions that you could worm a smile out of him, it had been honest and sincere. He was also kickass at video games and made really awesome pancakes. Unfortunately, pancakes were all he could cook but that was beside the point.

Fuck, what was the point anyway?

Oh right. If you still loved Dave or not.

You tried not to recall that night. You'd cried over that night way too many times already and you weren't going to think about it now.

Nope.

Oh thank god. You heard the bell ring which signaled that someone had walked in. You straightened your posture and looked towards the door, grinning lightly as Karkat came in, looking inconvenienced. He walked up to the counter with a cup of coffee and placed it on the counter. 

"Here. Enjoy your revolting mixture of bean-juice and hot water. 

"Thanks, Karkat. Hey, where's Sollux this morning? He fall in or something?" 

"I don't know. He just told me to bring you your coffee," Karkat shrugged, leaning on the counter lightly. You wrapped your hands around the hot drink, shuddering as it warmed your usually cold hands.

"That's cool. Hey, did you hear about that new chinese place that opened? I kind of want to try it," You said, trying to start conversation. You knew Karkat probably had work to do but you'd missed the part where you actually cared about that. Karkat should have a few minutes to chillax here anyway.

"It sounds really lame. I wasn't going to go," Karkat mumbled, though it looked almost as if he wanted to add something.

"I was thinking about checking it out this weekend," You smiled back pleasently. Maybe you'd invite Dave. Well, you'd probably think about inviting Dave and then pussy out at the last moment and invite Terezi instead. "You okay?" You asked, noticing that Karkat kind of looked uncomfortable.

"...I'll go. If you come with me," He stammered quickly, not looking at you directly. You raised an eyebrow at him curiously. Was this...was it what you thought it was? 

"Karkat...are you asking me on a date?"

"What!? No! I was just offering to go with you! Yeesh. You completely misinterpreted everything I just fucking said," Karkat said defensively, glaring at you like you were an idiot.

"Sure, I'd love to go on a date with you," You teased with a smirk, kind of just wanting to poke fun at him for shits and giggles.

"It's not a date!"

"It's a daaaaate." 

"Stop it or I'm going to break up with you."

"But that implies that we were dating to begin with."

"Augh! Fucking...fine! It's a date. I, Karkat Vantas, am asking you, John Egbert, on a manly homosexual date to some shitty chinese food place this weekend," Karkat huffed angrily, crossing his arms stubbornly and almost pouting. It was kind of fucking adorable.

"Sure. I'd love to," You smiled eagerly, leaning over the counter. At least you didn't have to worry about asking Dave if he wanted to go anymore. Karkat's mood seemed to ease a little, but he was clearly still upset with you for messing with him like that.

"Fine. I'll meet you there at six on Saturday."

"What, you're not going to pick me up and sweep me off my feet and give me a dozen red roses to express our undying love?" You winked and he rolled his eyes at you. 

You both agreed that was totally gay and you'd just meet up at the restraunt or whatever and you're pretty sure you two talked about something else but you don't remember quite what. It was only after Karkat left that you realized that this would be your first real date since Dave. 

Now seemed like an really good time to freak out.


	10. In Which Karkat Acts On Impulse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are Karkat Vantas and holy shit.  
> Just holy shit.  
> Holy fucking shit.  
> You could not believe that this was actually happening to you.  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, some of you guys may know and some of you may not know but I've had some life problems. Recently got out of some places that fucked me over and I'm intent on getting back in the game. My friend fucktonoftrees on Tumblr just convinced me to update this because apparently she was reading it before I even really started talking to her and then...just...I mentioned it kind of and SHE DEMANDED THAT I UPDATE THIS SHIT RIGHT THIS INSTANT so I did. Ya'll have her to thank for this piss poor update.
> 
> Sorry it's not long, but it's something, right?
> 
> Ya'll get on your knees and thank Tree.
> 
> Or just...follow her on Tumblr. Because that would be cool (http://fucktonoftrees.tumblr.com/).
> 
> (You can follow me too at http://nuclear-apples.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Shameless advertising.  
>  **THIS IS FOR YOU TREE**

You are Karkat Vantas and holy shit.  


Just holy shit.  


Holy fucking shit.  


You could not believe that this was actually happening to you.  


John Egbert was actually sitting across from you eating orange chicken and blabbing away about something you weren’t paying attention to because you were really busy trying to get over the fact that this was John-fucking-Egbert and you were totally on a date with him.  
It still sounded a little funny to you. Even saying it a million times in your head, you’d never be able to say “I’m on a date with John Egbert” without it sounding foreign. It had been an impossibility for the longest time. It was like getting over the fact that Santa didn’t exist, it wasn’t going to sink in in one day. It was an idea that would take some time, but it was something you could get used to.  


“Huh?”  


“Karkat, were you even listening?”  


Crap, he was giving you that look. Somewhere halfway between amused and annoyed but definitely not angry.  


“…yes?”  


“Anyway, I was thinking that maybe I could…” John just kept talking and you had to thank him for that because you were afraid that if you opened your mouth for more than two seconds you were going to throw up or pass out. Or do both and then your life would be completely over.  


Despite the obvious nervousness you were feeling and the panic attack you almost had, dinner was fun. Uplifting, even. John just had this way of making you happier than usual and you gave a moment’s pause to wonder if that was the reason you needed to be around him or you had to have him on your mind. Thoughts of John were usually followed by soft sighs or tiny smiles and sometimes fond chuckles. He gave you butterflies and he made you angry and he made you want to throw a fit and punch his stupid face then hug him to death and apologize (and you never apologized). You usually didn’t care enough about people to get that angry over the stupid shit they do, but with John it was different. You didn’t quite know what you were feeling. It could’ve been the way chums usually felt about each other, but you’d never felt like this around Sollux and Sollux and you were chums (right?). So the only logical explanation was that…you were falling hopelessly for John Egbert.  


Which could turn out to be a dangerous endeavor.  


You had noticed John being a little to friendly with a certain Dave Strider who now hung around in your library all too regularly. The way that Dave looked at John just made you want to punch him. What an asshole.  


But you weren’t thinking about Dave right now. No. You were on a date with John (fuck that still sounded weird) and you were enjoying it (which was even weirder).  


After dinner you and John didn’t have anything else planned so you insisted that you accompany him back to his dorm. You weren’t being nice or anything, it was just dark and John was a pussy and…it was dark. On the way back the air was a little lighter, you loosened up a bit, you and John tossed back conversation like it was the most natural thing in the universe and it felt amazing.  


As you and John walked the hallways it was shockingly quiet. Guess everyone else was out partying or something. You and John came to his dorm room faster that you would’ve liked and John fumbled with his key for a second and that’s when you started to feel awkward.  


What did people normally say after dropping their dates off back home? Didn’t the cliché movies show people kissing or something? No way. You were not doing that. John unlocked his door and opened it before turning back to you.  


“I had fun.”  


“Y-yeah. Me too.”  


He was smiling and god his eyes were really blue and your eyes stopped on his lips and…fuck it.  


You leaned in and kissed him, just a quick peck on the lips before pulling away and turning back down the hall from whence you came. He didn’t call your name, you didn’t see his reaction, and your heart was going a mile a minute.  


Holy shit.  


Holy.  


**Fucking.**  


_Shit._


End file.
